The Monetarian’s Song

Monetarian:

I am the very model of a modern Monetarian
I lower rates as fellow Feds and I deem necessary an’
Raise ‘em once again before inflation starts a’ heatin’ up
And take my lumps when market marketeers give me a beatin’ up
I squint at numbers dawn to dusk and while your broker’s counting sheep
These reams of data leave me just one hope, which is surmounting sleep
I glean conclusions from the barest facts of the economy
And teach each Oval Officer the fact of my autonomy

All:

And teach each Oval Officer the fact of his autonomy
And teach each Oval Officer the fact of his autonomy
And teach each Oval Officer the fact of his autonomy

Monetarian:

You small investors do not know the lion’s den you’re enterin’
I’d teach you all if only I had time for so much mentorin’
Instead, I model money matters urban and agrarian
I am the very model of a modern Monetarian

All:

Instead, he models money matters urban and agrarian
He is the very model of a modern Monetarian

Monetarian:

I make pronouncements every market maven finds elliptical
Thus, rich rewards await those few whose gifts lie in decrypt-ical
But here’s a hint for those of you not gifted in the cryptic arts
Just read the tea leaves in the way my hair displays its triptych parts

Yet once I spoke in simple words so plain and clear you had to see
The evils of that speculative bubble you’re now mad to see
If now your paltry holdings cannot buy your car a lube or rinse
It’s clear that you have suffered from irrational exuberance

All:

It’s clear that you have suffered from irrational exuberance
It’s clear that you have suffered from irrational exuberance
It’s clear that you have suffered from irrational exuberance

Monetarian:

If you must re-invest, be sure to clear cerebral rubble first
The sideline is the preferential place to watch a bubble burst
And don’t dismiss my words as merely septuagenarian
I am the very model of a modern Monetarian

All:
And don’t dismiss his words as merely septuagenarian
He is the very model of a modern Monetarian

Monetarian:

My hand upon the tiller has been steady, as you’re well aware
Like Washington’s, while standing in that boat across the Delaware
Of monetary G-men in this Chair there has not sat a G
Whose edicts, seen in retrospect, formed such a red-hot strategy
I’ve been here quite a while, some folks yearn for my retirement
And hope I’ll flip them burgers from McDonald’s on rehire-ment
But do not count me out while one or two of my three hairs remain
Instead, pay close attention to the data that ensnares my brain

All:

Instead, pay close attention to the data that ensnares his brain
Instead, pay close attention to the data that ensnares his brain
Instead, pay close attention to the data that ensnares his brain

Monetarian:

The next time fundamentals show a national protuberance
You’ll pay attention to the words “irrational exuberance”
So do not bobble bubble baubles, be a true contrarian
Just like this very model of a modern Monetarian

All:

So do not bobble bubble baubles, be a true contrarian
Just like that very model of a modern Monetarian