The Honor to Host Our American Heroes

The honor to host our American heroes
This morning at White House was mine
Your VP and POTUS
Were joined by the FLOTUS
We met warriors – once wounded, now fine

It made me reflect on this business of war
Whose scourge I’d successfully dodged
It started at college
(I went there for knowledge)
From there four deferments I lodged

The last one, alas, which prevented my service
Is the one I’m most sad to report
I suffered from spurs
And my bones got no cures
Which my dream – to get shot at – did thwart

The Obvious Choice is ‘Trump Orange’


The obvious choice is ‘Trump Orange’
As readers of Twitter have heard
Yet why would you ever propose
That most famous un-rhymeable word?

Instead, let me offer some others
Though doubtless they’ve also been found –
Perhaps ‘Caution Yellow’ for Spicer
If you happen to hear him expound

Let us also consider Steve Bannon
Whose underwear’s rarely been drowned
If a crayon were named in his honor
I’d nominate ‘Boxer Shorts Browned’

And there’s also our good man Reince Priebus
Who finds himself over his head
Let me offer a modest suggestion:
‘Drowning Republican Red’

But forget not the loyal Ms. Conway
Our very own Shakespeare of spin
Let a crayon be named in her honor:
‘As Fleshy as Kellyanne’s Chin’

And to leave out our good VP Pence
Would displease the conservative right
But for those who are over the rainbow
Let me offer you ‘Homophobe White’

And to fill out our box of new colors
Melania I mustn’t omit
But what color for one who’s unseen?…
‘Invisible Lady’ is IT!


Do Libel Laws Need Change?

The failing @nytimes
Disgraced the media world
They pressed potential crimes
When Russian questions swirled

Do libel laws need change?
The Times was wrong two years…
That’s legal – ain’t it strange?
We must prevent such smears!

But let me first address
The elephant in the room:
“Your wire-tapping mess
Has libelous perfume”

My wire tapping claim –
‘Tis true: some see as libel
But “Barack himself’s to blame”
I’d swear on Lincoln’s Bible!

So never shall I rue
The day he brings a case
Obama will not sue
‘Cause tapps – he knows – TOOK PLACE!

Remember Days of Yesteryear?

Remember days of yesteryear?
When failing @nytimes was wrong
Subscribers got apology
Election cov’rage missed the mark

So wrong, so wrong
So wrong, now worse
Now worse, now worse

Now worse…